its been long.

its been long since i last blogged. well, the time in btwn posts has indeed grew further and further. all thanks to uni life, though not in the local unis, i'd still say mine is as equally demanding. ok, or perhaps a wee bit lesser(minus hall stuffs), but i still pack my life with so much stuffs.

gonna blog a post before i fly off to Bkk later at 1040. yes, and indeed its my hols! that's why i have the time to just sit here and blog my thoughts and im sure its gonna pass damn fast.
after 5 days of bkk, nxt mon im gonna have my gum operation, and e wk will prolly be burnt resting at home. and then its e last 2 wks of hols b4 another hectic sem starts on 5th sep. the start of sleepless nights chionging of essays and presentations n research pprs, urgghhh. time flies, like seriously. it's alr Aug, like omgness fast. and im turning 21 v v soon, how scary is that! GEES.

and so i sit here, thinking about how fast time flies and how things have changed in e past yr, for me and for the many around me.
i re-read my past entry and am kinda wow-ed by what i wrote. didnt know i could write all that, ha. and yes, ive since been living the life i want to and im happy with it.

A and i started out as groupmates, not even by choice but random by lecturer. i didnt even think anything about A but rather like, " omg am i gonna b able to communicate w this indian guy, gees hope i can". honestly speaking, i dont usually mix around w other races since young, i have no idea why. therefore i dnt have much friends from other races, which explains much of the sterotyping. my close friends are usually chinese, even the not so close ones, are chinese too. yes, i have indian, malay friends on fb, but are prolly acquaintances. so, i grew up in a very "chinese" environment, and obviously a bf from another race have never ever crossed my mind.

and it all began when we started talking. i realised we were quite the same afterall! i was amazed he could use phrases like 'jialat', 'wahpiang' etc and yes he said, " yea, im singaporean, duh." well, i really didnt quite know. in my pea-sized brain, all indians can only speak perfect english, sometimes perhaps with their indian accent and nothing else. but the thing was, A learns malay in school hence didnt hv the indian accent, though he does it pretty well when he wants to. i started to talk like how i would normally talk to all my friends, inserting chinese phrases here and there where initially i was kinda struggling to only speak in proper english. and yes, he could understd someeee chinese too, thanks to serving police for the 2yrs in ns.

A was someone i could talk to about anything and everything, and he always seems to have a solution for all. he would stand to listen even if the situation was not to his advantage, yes we were still friends then. he was someone i felt happy around, someone who i can never see myself quarreling with. what i could say was, A is a very good tempered guy, a good boy, a shy one too. okay and yes, he is smart though i know he's e same as me, cant do maths for nuts.

and so we started talking, we started hanging out. and apart from all the similarities, we definitely have our differences other than on the surface. he loves metal music; i finds them damn noisy, i prefer my slow melodies both english and chinese. he watches starwars, matrix, lordoftherings; ive watched none, prolly more channel 8 series or idol dramas. he's a huge fan of harry potter; i a huge fan of nothing, i dont think i idolize any one person or series. he likes it indoors; i like to get down and dirty, outdoor sports or even to the beach. in my opinion, being different doesnt matter, what matters is whn one takes e effort to know more about what e other person likes and tries to do it as well.

A didnt look e kind of guys id go for, my closest friends would know best: tall, tanned, broad-shoulders, good figure, nice eyes, play sports... oh i just rmbed i once pen this down in my well-kept personal diary some years back, shall share it here

My Dream Guy: broad-shoulders, nice smile, nice eyes, toned body, tanned. at least 175cm, caring, compassionate (animal n towards others), loves to cook, humorous, well-mannered/good-tempered, good communication skills. plus points: musically-inclined, loves art, good in studies. --- 05/09/09

haha, seriously what was i thinking! young girl reading and watching too much fairytale ending chick flicks. i mean like yes, bulls-eye if you find someone like this out there who still loves you wholeheartedly. but i think after knowing A, ive changed more than just a little.

i rmbed once meeting cheryl, and she said something along the lines of me being kinda havoc in the past and why im not like that now. i used to feel excited about clubbing, cause i can see hot guys. even when its only me and clar, i'll somehow instigate her into clubbing w me. i'll look at hot guys on the streets and i'll do the weirdest things, like finding that guy on fb. i'll go crazy over that cute guy in school and secretly pass him letters or little gifts. haha, seriously, THOSE WERE THE DAYS!

after being with A, i didnt find the excitement in clubbing anymore. and if u asked me now if appearance was important, id say yes, but being neat n proper more than looks itself. perhaps i outgrew tt xiaomeimei stage, perhaps it was how A talked me into it. i rmbed cleo bachelor night, he knew i was gaga over desmondchiam, yet he said, " i want to trust you, go and have fun." to me, now i feel that looks are bonus, its not the most important aspect like how i used to think it was.

so what if that guy aint that tall model-looking dude, so what if he aint some beach-looking hunk. i believe its what in the heart that counts, its that natural connection you find with that person that is most important. its the respect u have for each other, its the willingness to sacrifice and let down one's ego. its how u put the person before urself, its how u feel and know that this could be the one. A and i have always talked about abt building our dream house, our library including my chick-lit section which will be a spiral pink bookcase, the house will hv awesome sound system by Bang&Olufsen, our backyard which will have a chillax place perhaps a bar lookalike with a huge pen by e side where i can rear cutesy rabbits. its about being best friends to joke around, acting like a sibling to care for each other and a lover at the end of the day. still, e old saying goes, "what matters most is on the inside, not the outside."

im not sure what more else to write about, brain's getting jam due to the time.
i could say A is one rare guy, and someone i hope all my friends would eventually find in e end. i listen to friends' relationship probs and think to myself, 'if only their bf was A, they would b so happy.' can't imagine how some guys out there can be so crappy and their gfs still have to tolerate. and sometimes, i think A pampers me a little too much. dont be shock tt he carries rubberbands and pins ard, yes juz bcus in time of e hot weather, i'll need them.

as much as i say what impt is on e inside, i still constantly remind A of his layers of tummy tyres and moobs(haha i make him sound so fat). shall head to bed now, needa be up in like 3hrs. goodnight world.